pre-school reopening woes and blues

He beckoned to me from the table, honey-coloured eyes
twinkling with a knowing gaze.
He knew that
I would fall under his spell, wanting a taste of
him again.
Instead of the mealy banana feel, he would
taste of something
warm and inviting, engulfing my
mouth.
What could I do? I was all but helpless.
We had too many good
times although some nights, I would end up hating him.
His ability to make me feel loved and euphoric,
sexy and
beautiful, always wins out though.
And like a hungry dog, I wold always come back, begging for
morre,
craving for a kiss from his wonderful lips again.
More satisfying than any lover I've ever had, sweeter than any
crush
I've ever had, tastier than any cream I've ever tasted,
I love you,
Mr Alcohol...

just one of the many reasons i love xueling. stole this from her, haha

suddenly everything feels surreal, a little too surreal in fact.
things that happened never seemed like they did.
things that i fervently enjoyed seems so out of reach now.
you know the feeling that you were once temporarily happy but when everything is past, it's past, and what's really left is those pieces of memories which never proved to be sweet because they're more like little pieces of glass at your feet, you occasionally step on and hurt yourself when you're off guard.

i wonder which is actually better, to have experienced and lost, or not to at all?

i also do not know how am i going to survive another 3 months plus one major exam.
i promise not to intoxicate myself in the next few months, i also do not find clubbing fun anymore.

oh random but i bought this organizer and i find it so pretty! the cover is like.. wooden? kinda thought it looked like a bible, and it's classy! love it. i promise to use it dilligently.

oh and my parents are actually worse than me, we've not seen each other until the 5th day of 2009 and they're flying to bkk this weekend.speaking of bkk i wanna go too, despite the fires breaking out everywhere =x

ok, need to go pity myself already.
another 358 days to go!