panic attacks like a crack in the levy

can't stand it.


twelve more days and i would be expected to write essays like how i used to, without having practiced.

my fear is pretty absurd.
it's the kind whereby i constantly say i'm panicking but i can never seem to do enough.
or perhaps, do nothing at all.

it's like standing in the middle of a really wide road alone in the dark, with this huge trunk coming my way with blinding headlights. but all i can and would do is to just stand there, too weak to move, with hands shaking.

this is tough.