man, not superman

im coughing my lungs out and my right knee has 2 unknown bruises.

my itcy hands totally screwed up the internet connection and i swear this laptop is gonna give way soon. sigh, must i really spoil everything i use?

are people generally happy on their birthdays?
or maybe it's really just me that's weird. i spend an average 364 days per year looking forward to my birthday but what happens next when the birthday has passed? suddenly everything feels so empty, like you've reached the season finale of a series, only that in real life it continues on and on. and then suddenly you have nothing to look forward to, you might shift your attention to other dates like christmas, new year and only to have them pass one by one and feeling emptier than ever.

or perhaps it's the knowing that im done with yet another year of my lifespan. whether or not it is a happy thing depends i guess.

i realised whenever my birthday is relatively near, im not always happy. in fact i feel a little depressed. i have no idea why. maybe it's really just another day, with an excuse to have ppl buy you cakes and presents and to remind your mum of her labour pains exactly N years ago. there's no exceptional luck or anything like that.

i confess i think there's still some alcohol content in the blood. gotta pardon my poor metabolism. either that or my bad lack of sleep. i've to trying to sleep the entire day but i just couldnt. that is despite me being very very tired.

went to send madeleine off just now. cannot stand the moment when she eventually had to turn her back and walk into the gates and then that's it. and then you have to walk away yourself knowing that it would be a very long time before you should ever meet. sigh

damn sleepy. i can feel my organs all tied up and burning. haven't been the kindest to my liver this week.

yawn of the dead. hah