If you could’ve tried to trust the hand that fed

If I had eyes in the back of my head I would have told you that you looked good as I walked away


i know right, fancy blogging when i have this project up my nostrils already.
but i figured i need it, i would really need a channel to direct all my negativity away. no it's not the teammates. it's just the helplessness of not knowing what to do and afraid to fail if i should do something so horribly wrong.

it's times like this i wished i was still in poly, with the 3 of them. projects were smooth to a scary extent. well, at least it was for me. we always somehow managed to do it. and it's kinda sad to think back and remember im in the room where we once were, 4 laptops cramped in a really small room. no aircon, just a old, useless fan.

sigh, i couldnt connect to the internet in school today and i was completely crushed. well back in it school anyone walking down the concourse would have solved it in a few clicks.

my best 2 years of life seemed to have past me by unknowingly and all im left with is ... agony?

anyway i must totally admit i have a confrontational tone. it always comes out wrong. as in, yes i speak slightly louder so i may have come across as offensive but that's really not what i intended. i guess when im pressed for time i tend to raise my voice a little. there was one point in time today i forgot what i said and there was a brief moment of silence. and i hate it that hui hui has to suffer the brunt of it all because she's just too nice! and soft. and nice.

the 'im happy' phrases didnt work. damnit.
okay amanda's online to distract me now hahhah thank god for her.
sometimes.