zouk sucks. this is the 2nd time stepping in and i resolute no more in 2010.
i've this sudden realisation. that experiencing something depressing on your own, isnt half as bad as knowing the people you truly love are going through heartaches, yet there is nothing you can quite do because everyone has to fundamentally deal with their own issues. but seeing them going through these heartbreaks, you wished you could be more for them, but there's really only so much you can do. perhaps i like to torture myself by not sleeping during the wee hours, being awake and thinking is a torture because the night is always dark, which automatically drags me down. love is an overrated word too many a times, how much meaning do we put into it? does love come with a warranty or expiry or exceptions? is it more of joy, or is it more of hurt? when one says he stops hoping, does he really stop having hopes? how is it possible? when one says she doesnt trust anymore, does she really not trust anymore or is she forcing herself to deny the trust? but even still, wouldnt you harbour the hope that maybe this time it might be an exception? that, for once he might truly mean what he said, after so many times of lies and deceits. humans are but fallible, coming and leaving with nothing tangible.
i believe in indulgence until the point you truly give it up altogether. when im done with this shit i know i will be a better person. although im not quite sure whether this might be a bottomless pit.
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